Subspace with Tails

A few days ago, our friend Tails came over. She was one of the very first kinky people Jack and I met, months before we even started going out to play parties. She's very sweet and very fun, and we always have a really great time.

This most recent date was seriously beyond all our previous ones. It's taken me almost a week to process it enough to sit down and figure out how to write about it. I think also I'm having a hard time actually figuring how to write about the specifics of a sexual encounter - the who did what to whom part. It's scary, and I'm worried I won't do it justice.

Tails was the first girl I ever had sex with. And the first few times, I definitely felt like there was a learning curve...I knew where the right bits and pieces were, and I knew what I was supposed to do, but I'm pretty sure it was apparent how inexperienced I was despite my enthusiasm.

This time...I don't know how else to describe it, other than to use words like "beautiful" and "moving." I was going down on her, and I basically never wanted it to stop. I was completely focused on what I was doing, completely absorbed, and blissfully happy. I just wanted to keep giving her pleasure, to keep feeling her grind and wriggle against my tongue and contract around my fingers.

When I was younger, I read Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain by Betty Edwards. When you're drawing (and I've felt this while drawing) and your concentration is complete, and your brain shifts into the drawing-place, you don't notice anything else. You can't hear music, and distractions cease to exist, and everything else in your life just fades into the background. That's what this sex was like - complete concentration, my senses completely absorbed in the act. Amazing.

Eventually, she pulled me up into a sitting position and hugged me. I was shaking, almost crying. On some level, I didn't know what was going on at all. I was someplace else. I kept saying "thank you" over and over again, I felt so honored that she'd allowed me to have this amazing, earth-shattering experience. She and Jack hugged me, and stroked my hair and told me I was a good girl, and eventually I came back to myself.

I feel like a lot of the time people I know talk about subspace being reached through pain. And that's awesome (and I'm totally back to loving pain, btw) and exciting and wonderful, but it's much rarer for me to hit subspace just through sex, to lose myself in someone else's body, to be in that place of complete concentration and wanting nothing else in the world but to pleasure this person. I've always had this idea of losing myself in sex, and I'd always thought that was only possible for the moment when a particularly amazing orgasm takes hold. But what I'm learning is that I can lose myself in someone else, and that's even more exciting.

Lots of other really awesome things happened that day. Tails spanked me until I couldn't take anymore, Jack spanked her until he bruised his hand, she showed us some cool new rope bondage stuff she's been learning, there was some candle wax and some squirting. Tails is turning into quite a mean top. But probably the thing that will stick in my mind is how I felt when she pulled me into her arms and I was shaking and on the verge of tears and thanking her over and over again for allowing me to experience her like that. It was amazing.