Hard to Offend?

It says in my profile that I like making people uncomfortable. This is kind of a throwback to my years in college, when we did lots of theatre that was offensive and in-your-face and often just...well...uncomfortable. Two of my favourite playwrights are Christopher Durang and Martin McDonagh. I had friends who delighted in saying horrible things in public just to get a laugh, and I always found it hilarious.

But lately I find myself really bothered by things that, on the surface, seem really innocuous. And I find that hard to reconcile with the hard-to-offend person that I thought I was.

The subtle things are creepier, though. And a play, at least, is not real life--though using the same sort of exaggerated language one would in a play to get a response offstage is a little more problematic--it's really different when a character onstage makes a sexist remark and when your friend does it. Durang plays in particular show us really horrible things framed by absurdity and humor to make a statement about what a weird, screwed up, sometimes horrible place the world is. And while I was not offended by the rape scene in Betty's Summer Vacation, I definitely was occasionally disturbed by the show on the whole.

Two of my favorite characters have been really, really unlikeable. An abusive mother and a violent, bullying teenage girl. Possibly the two most potentially offensive characters I've played, and I loved every second of being with them. However, when a critic referred to one of the characters as "sluttish" in a review, I was pretty upset--how is she a slut? Because she talks openly about her curiosity about sex? Because she swears and fights and takes charge of things? Because she isn't ashamed to talk about being sexually assaulted? That never seemed "sluttish" to me, it seemed strong.

This is kind of a disjointed post. Clearly it all has to do with context. A lot of media that I think people could characterize as "offensive" is wildly different from real life. There's a huge difference between Divine's speech about her beliefs in Pink Flamingos ("KILL EVERYONE NOW!") and my dumb friend from college calling a girl a skank. And as I write this, it becomes more and obvious why I'm offended by one of these things and not the other.

I think there was also something self-conscious in all the awful things we said in college. We were in on the joke, and it was like saying "This would be really horrible if it were true, but we know it's not so it's hilarious!" We were fucking with people, and that's not very nice, but there's a big difference between fucking with people on purpose and saying horrible things but not realizing they're horrible. But maybe I'm just defending it to avoid feeling guilty.

Making people uncomfortable at least gets a reaction. I'd rather get a reaction than never discuss anything ever and sweep everything under the rug.