Monday, September 27, 2010

Happy Birthday to one of my Favorite Organizations...ans also, sex party.

So last night was the one-year anniversary party for NYC TNG, the organization that changed the way I go to parties.

For folks not in the scene, TNG stands for, well, The Next Generation. Yes, just like "Star Trek." TNG groups exist to introduce younger kinksters (usually between the ages of 18 and 35) into the public scene. Our own TNG group here in New York runs munches before a lot of the major parties, providing a chance to meet people in a diner and actually talk in a fairly low-pressure environment. It's so much easier to have a for reals conversation in the diner over pierogies than to try to talk to someone in the club at the party, over the music and the other ambient noise.

I actually hadn't realized how much NYC TNG has changed the way I interact with people in the scene until I was listening to the most recent Freedom of Fetish podcast. In answering the question of how to meet people in the scene, the host (the fabulous Raven Lightholme) and her guest say not to try to meet people at a party. Go to munches, they say, join groups on FetLife, talk to people. And I realized that before NYC TNG, meeting people at parties, playing with them far sooner than I would now, I blundered into lots of awkward situations. I've made most of my friends through TNG--not just scene friends, but friend friends, people I go out to dinner and to bars with.

So happy birthday, NYC TNG, you and your moderators kind of changed my life.
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The other night, Jack and I went to a sex party. Like, a for reals sex party at an apartment where people were fucking as well as getting beaten up. It was very fun and friendly and there were cookies and dildos and I saw a girl actually get DPed right there in the room and I was naked in front of people I'd only just met, which was new and scary for me.

The main thing that stuck with me from the sex party, though, is how awesome everyone was about using barriers. There were gloves and condoms everywhere, and toys and hands got covered before they went in on on anyone's genitals. It's something that I am not always that careful about. It's very different watching everyone conscientiously putting on gloves and condoming toys from hearing from my friends in college "Well, he put on a condom before he came..." I'm resolving to be more diligent about barriers.

1 comment:

  1. I recently went to my first party like this as well, with very open free spirited kinky people who were responsible about protection. It was amazing but I was too embarrassed to get naked, so mad props to you for being so brave! I feel I missed out on a lot of liberation and freedom from the party I went to because I could not overcome my insecurities enough to just get naked and not care.

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