If Only...

If only the rest of the world were like the BDSM scene. Seriously. This is something that lots of people have written about, and I can't even say emphatically enough how much I wish it were true this weekend.

Yesterday was the annual Coney Island Mermaid Parade. Jack and I have gone for the past few years, but this year a friend and I decided to put a marching group together. It was really fun and exciting to be a part of the Mermaid Parade, with all the amazing costumes and floats and whatnot.

What was not so fun and exciting was dealing with the photographers and random people wanting pictures. It's pretty traditional to, well, not wear much clothing in the Mermaid Parade and this tends to draw some attention from both professional and hobbyist photographers, as well as random people with cameras. It's all part of the experience, posing for pictures, but by the end of the day it gets a little wearying. A lot of the photographers were really considerate and asked before taking pictures, but a lot weren't, like...

-The guy who butted into the middle of a conversation I was having with Jack and our larger group of friends, trying to figure out where to go get food. He stepped right into my face to ask for a picture, then when I said no he yelled at me for "not showing any love."

-The guy who tried to touch my breast. Yes, I was wearing pasties, but for Christ's sake, ASK BEFORE YOU TRY TO POKE SOMEONE IN THE BREAST. He poked and then asked, and as a result I think he got a picture of me yelling at him.

-The many, many people who did not ask to take pictures when we were standing around with our friends who were not in costume, just hanging out. Some of our friends had no interest in having their picture taken and just happened to be standing next to those of us in costume.

At the play parties we regularly go to, shit like uninvited, nonconsensual touching and taking photos without permission (taking photos at all, in some cases) will get you thrown out of the party. And sometimes it's hard to remember that the rest of the world doesn't operate that way. It's actually really nice to know that at a party, you can be as scantily clad as you'd like (provided that you at least have your nipples covered and wear a g-string as per NYS liquor laws, if you're somewhere where alcohol is served) and the majority of people understand that it's not an invitation to touch you.

So yeah...I really wish it were like this everywhere. I wish that dressing however you wanted didn't warrant unsolicited comments stronger than "Wow! I love your outfit!" or get interpreted as an okay to touch. Can someone find me some bouncers to enforce these rules wherever I go?